Saturday, February 9, 2008

Myspace Round-Up #1

Hello and welcome to the inaugural edition of Myspace Round-Up! What the hell am I talking about? Well, so far my little blog has been a little too gushy about the records i've reviewed so far. The reason being of course is that until people/bands/record labels start sending me crap to review I can only review the records I buy and well, I usually enjoy that stuff.

I'm not sure if this is true for everyone but I get a lot of unsolicited friends requests on my Myspace page. I get too kinds: 1. Profiles of sexy ladies who don't exist and 2. Shitty bands who think that they'll get famous by sending everyone on Myspace a friends request. I usually ignore these band's requests because my thinking is "If they were any good I would've already heard of them". So I was thinking that this might cause a diamond in the rough to slip through the cracks once in a while, so NO MORE! From now on when I get enough requests from bands that want to be my friend, i'll check them out and report my findings to you, my loyal reader(s).

One more thing, if I like the band/artist I will add them to my friends list and if I hate them they fail. LOLZ.

Okay, here we go!

La Muneca Y Los Muertos
Their band name is Spanish for "The High Point Of Our Careers Will Be Playing The Local Stage At Warped Tour." FAIL.

Penny Relentless
I like PJ Harvey too Penny, but you don't see me making half-assed imitations of her songs do you? FAIL.

Andrew Bayuk
This guy is such a fucking hippie he makes The Grateful Dead sound like Slayer. FAIL.

This sounds like every bad Alt-Country band i've ever heard, all at the same time. FAIL.

Imagine if The Goo Goo Dolls made a really overproduced emo record. With vocoder. FAIL.

Monday Club
Goddamn, more PJ Harvey wannabes. These guys are probably the best group of the bunch i've listened to so far but that's only because I like female vox with brit accents. FAIL.

Ever imagined what Coldplay would sound like if they all got castrated? FAIL.

The Tongues
These guys seem like the type of band who would win a contest to open for a band like The Foo Fighters and they'd be totally stoked to party with Dave Grohl and when they introduce themselves he just ignores them and walks away. FAIL.

Aegri Somnia
If you consider yourself a Graver (Goth Raver) you'll totally eat this shit up. Everyone else, you'll just shit. FAIL.

Quinn Keon
If it were 1983 these guys might be able to get laid. FAIL.

Wow, that was even more tragic than I thought it would be. Not even one winner.

And just remember folks, I tear down other people's attempts at art because i'm dead inside and am incapable of love.


palejoe said...

....All i have to say to you Jerk is..FUCK YEAH!!..Finally someone who can slag off all the shite detritus that is MySpace rock 'n roll/indie/metal/blah blah fuckin' blah(this will include moi..eventually..i hope)..If you ever wander the souless empty headed world that is MyDisgrace or you ARE 1 ov those 'hey check us out we wear our influences not on our heart sleeves but by replicating note 4 note stylism by stylism EVEN FUCKING OUTRIGHT CLONING FOR FUCKS' SAKE!!!' & we'll keep sending you every minute ov every hour ov every fucking day messages to CHECK US OUT!! about i have you all checked out by some friends i know from Palestine/Syria/the lonely hills ov Pakistan!!...People, yes we know it's all been done befre but PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE at least try to make some effort!!...some people just aren't meant to be rock stars let alone musicians....i blame techno....

Mirestarter said...